And now we enter the home stretch.

I've never really told anybody this except for the mother unit in passing before, but the decision to even apply to this summer's study abroad gig was actually a very spontaneous one. As in, within about the span of roughly 20 seconds, I decided to just up and do it. You see, the original plan was to just wait until junior year and then do the typical thing and apply for a year-long program somewhere in Japan. That's still my intention, definitely, but early into this school year, I had the realization while biking back from a class that I might benefit from doing a summer program beforehand. This was primarily because I believed that a summer program would enable me to culturally acquaint myself with Japan personally so that when I returned for a much longer stretch of time, the culture shock issues wouldn't be nearly as profound. I figured that the logistics of going to school over there for year were hard enough as it was; culture shock would just compound the issues. Thus I essentially decided on the spot that I would at least try to get into a summer program and see what happens. If nothing else, it would acclimate me to the application process so it wasn't foreign to me the next year.

Judging by the fact that just yesterday I bought my plane tickets to Tokyo, however, I think you can gauge how successful I've been in my endeavor thus far.

Getting to this point is surreal. There really is very little left to do now. Just buy a few supplies like a camera and laptop, withdraw money from the savings account to exchange over there. You know, the works. When I went to Australia when I was 16, I had help in the application process from the mother unit. I think it's to be expected at that age, really. International trips naturally involve a lot logistical issues and they're really too much to handle at that age if you don't already know the ropes. I don't think too many teenagers really know that early in their lives.

It's with that in mind that I think I'm prouder and more content with my efforts to set up my trip to Tokyo than I am with Australia. Mind you, Australia changed my life, but getting from point A to point B was a much simpler matter in retrospect than achieving the same thing for this upcoming study abroad program. Save for a recommendation or two and other miscellaneous things, you really are left on your own to make things happen. It's up to you to let the university know you want to do it in the first place. It's up to you to fill out the mobs of forms and occasional essay once you're committed to going. And, if you're like me at all, it's up to you to figure out how you're going to pay for it, too. In the end, as long as you don't let the inevitable obstacles bog you down too much, things do end up working out in your favor. But when you come to the realization that you managed to achieve this much, you can't help but be in awe at yourself that it's possible for one person to do all that in less than a year.

To put it into perspective, I believe I put far much more work and man hours into applying to study abroad in Japan than I did to attend the University of Colorado. Both are difficult, but if a mere program within a school requires more work than getting into the school itself, I think that's cause for a little bit of self-celebration. So don't mind me if I indulge myself a bit.

Perhaps this time is especially surreal for me personally just because the program, as well as the time of year itself, means a lot to me. I chose to apply for college and opted for the major I did because I wanted to prove to myself that I could take charge of my life and that my dreams didn't have to just be dreams if I worked towards making them a reality. My older sister may have stopped beating and yelling at me years and years ago, but it's been a long time coming for me to reach the point where I'm confident enough to not let the mental scarring deter me from doing whatever I truly want in my life. It's always a liberating thought for me to know that; my life had felt so anarchic and out of my control because of my youth for so long that I think it took me longer than a lot of people to realize I had the potential within myself to be an independent human being. Living the college life has thusly been an extremely important stepping stone for me. Despite the complaints I might have about certain aspects, overall it's proven my theory about self-realizing my own autonomy to be true. Applying for and getting accepted to study over in Tokyo come to Japan is therefore an expansion upon that point, providing more validation for it.

I probably couldn't be happier knowing that my idealistic theory about living life could actually be true. That's what the chance to go on this trip really means for me. More than anything, it shows me that I am empowered to bring about change for the better in my life, that if I work hard enough at it, I'll eventually get the ending I'm looking for. Maybe it won't be a perfect journey without problems, but just the fact that it's possible to really overcome them if I try hard enough is something I'll probably be forever amazed at. Nor do I want to lose that awe, as that's what drives me to keep going. My past isn't my present and this trip ensures that I'll work hard to keep making that true.

Such is what it feels like for me personally to enter the home stretch of this study abroad process. The applications are done. The arrangements have been made. All that's really left is to wait until it hits me full throttle.

Then the real charades begin.

And that excites me to no end.